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Warrior Care
Alex and Allison Pate have known each other since they were teenagers. Alex joined the Air Force after high school and the couple married shortly thereafter. Alex is now a retired staff sergeant, and the Pates currently live on a farm in the same rural southwestern Missouri town of Forsyth where they both grew up.
What makes them unique is that their journey back to home, while it may feel like a lifetime of experiences for the young couple, has actually only taken a little less than five years.
Alex is a 'wounded warrior,' but he never saw combat in his military career. His battle was against cancer and the toll that the subsequent treatment took on his body. He is a stark reminder that not all wounded warriors suffered their injuries in combat operations.
"About two years into his service, he was diagnosed with cancer," said Allison, who now serves as her husband's 'informal' caregiver. "He was having problems when he was doing PT and getting really fatigued and finally went and got things checked out."
At the time, she was 19 and he was 22.
Alex learned that his testicular cancer had already spread to his chest and abdomen, and required immediate intervention.
"They went ahead and, within the week, removed one of his testicles and had a port [for the administration of medication and fluids] put in. They also did some scans and realized they needed to start chemotherapy the following week," Allison said.
"His chemo schedule was very intense. He had five days of eight-hour sessions the first week and every week it would start over again."
The physical effects of Alex's treatment were almost immediate. The emotional effects would come later.
"We basically lived in the hospital and, within the first two months, he had lost 60 to 80 pounds. He couldn't keep a drink of water down, let alone food. It was very scary," Allison recalled.
After about six weeks of recovery following his final chemotherapy treatment, Alex returned to active duty.
"When he got back to work, they gave him light duties to get started, but the anxiety and depression due to being in a small room with no more than two or three people throughout chemo was taking over him," said Allison. "He just wasn't himself anymore. We were young and we wanted to act like it, to be excited. I had never seen him like this and we kind of shut down."
They were told that what he was going through was "normal" for a cancer patient and that the anxiety and depression would slowly go away.
"We were told that he would be the old Alex. He'll be athletic. He'll want to be outside. He hunts, he fishes, he'll be a 'man's man' - he loves to work," she said. "That wasn't Alex anymore. He would come home from work and sleep for 15 or 16 hours. He didn't have any drive and he didn't want to do anything anymore."
The chemotherapy had taken its toll, especially on his knees and back.
"He had no muscle carrying him when he lost all of that weight."